Saturday, June 1, 2013

Oh the Joy(s) of Being Single | God Help Me!

Hello Bloggers! :)

Thanks for spending about 5-10 minutes with me. You're awesome. Let me HIGH FIVE you. ((( WHAP! )))). This blog is dedicated to all you lovely single people out there. Why?? Because I TOTALLY get you, understand you, know what it's like... and I think y'all deserve all the love in the world.

*Disclaimer: There may be some of you reading this who are like, "I'm single and I'm totally happy! Why does everyone thing single people are miserable????" Good for you! That's the way it should be! We should be content always. But, for those of you who have been hit pretty heavy with the fear of being single and you've seen every last one of your friends run off and get married and leave you in the dust, this blog is for you.

Fight Lies With Truth: 
Satan knows all your weaknesses. The things that you are most sensitive about, he will attack. Relentlessly. The enemy will whisper your biggest fear in your ear over and over: "You will be single until you die..." He may also whisper:
You're too fat | You're not attractive enough | Your not tall enough | You're too old | There is nobody out there for you | You've made too many mistakes in your life. You have too much baggage. No one is going to want you | You don't have a penny to your name. You'll never be able to support a wife or a family| Your parents will never be happy with who you marry | You're so old and you've never had sex. You're a loser. Just give in already! 
I don't know what it is that the enemy is whispering to you, but if the voices in your head are not giving you peace and a sound mind, you know they are not from God. God doesn't bring us fear or anxiety. He is peace. Love. Joy. Whatever it is you are facing, this truth is unchanging: HE HAS PLANS FOR YOU! BIG PLANS! SO BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT AND HOLD ON FOR THE RIDE!!!!!

Learn True Contentment: If you are not content with your life, to be quite honest, it's probably not because you're single. When you're married, your problems don't go away! Believe me! You just get new problems. And, what's worse, if you haven't dealt with all your baggage BEFORE you get married, you're just going to bring it all into the marriage and things may be rocky for a long while. Take this time (that you will never get back), to get to KNOW GOD. Get to know him so intimately. You have to cling to God inside your marriage just as much, if not more. Know what it means to have a relationship with Him. Allow God to love you the way you need to be loved. Only He can love you so perfectly. There is no other love like that.

Let Yourself Shine. Embrace Opportunities.
If it's been a gazillion years since you've had a crush or since someone has had a crush on you, don't think that by working 24/7 and keeping your face tucked behind closed doors is going to find you a partner! Be open to opportunities. I'm not saying that you need to spend all your time tracing down every single social event and say hello to every single guy or girl, but when there are opportunities to meet new people, be open to it. Maybe God has been trying to do things in the past but your excuse is that you're too shy, or not in the mood. Get involved with ministries in your community, school, or church. You may end up finding someone who shares similar passions or interests. I found my husband in the middle of doing ministry! He flew out to Canada from California to shoot my music video. I never would have thought in a million years I would marry someone from the other side of the continent! So be open to ideas :) Your husband (or wife) may be nothing you've ever envisioned.

A Word to the Girls:
Guys love a woman who is confident and who knows who she is. Sure, I know it seems that many of the guys in your life go for the girls who are a little more helpless, dependent, (and drop dead gorgeous!), but that isn't every guy. In fact, I know many of you are probably thinking, "I think my confidence is a huge turn off. Guys are intimidated by me." I disagree. Of course, please don't confuse confidence for attitude or snobbery. Confidence meaning, you aren't afraid to be yourself, speak your mind when it is appropriate, follow your dreams, goals, and just simply enjoy your life. No guy wants a girl who has "desperate" tattooed to her forehead. At the same time, you don't need to pretend you don't desire a relationship, but live your life so that whether single, dating, or married, your confidence in who you are never changes. You will be like a breath of fresh air. God created you just the way you are. Embrace yourself. The right guy for you will love you for you. All of you.

A Word to the Guys:
Guys, I don't think I can emphasize this enough: Girls WANT you to PURSUE them! No girl wants a guy who she has to endlessly flaunt herself in front of. There are so many godly woman floating around on this planet just waiting for a dude to really be a gentlemen and pursue them wholly, and in a Holy manner. If it's rejection you're afraid of, let it go! If you are confident in who you are in Christ, then you can trust Him with all things. Even rejection. I'm not saying to go and attach yourself to EVERY girl, but if there is one that you have been thinking about, praying about, trying to get to know, then don't be afraid! If she is a godly woman, chances are she won't be a jerk about it. And, best case scenario, you'll get yourself a life long partner! Lastly, there is nothing more attractive to a Christian woman than a man who is on fire for God. Bottom line. Even the guys who are not the most attractive people get woman flocking to them simply because they shine. Maybe you feel like you're not in a place where God is your everything. Maybe that's the first thing you should work on before looking to do life with someone else.

Above all, pray. Never stop communing with God for wisdom and direction. Remember that God is FOR you. He wants good things for your life more than you even want good things for your life. God is not the author of your pain and suffering. He is not keeping you single because you've been a bad boy or girl. He just has his timing. It's as simple and hard as that. You need to trust Him. If you don't trust Him with this, it will become an idol in your life. In other words, you'll decide you cannot be happy until you have found the "love of your life". Don't let that happen. God loves you now. In this very moment. He has not forgotten you. You are single yes, but most likely not forever. But- even if you are, He will only give you the very best things in life. He never gives second best. Try the Cross for example.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the above advice. I have been single and never had a girlfriend. Had a few crushes and dates but nothing worked out. I dont think I put in enough effort.Anyways, glad to know that God found out someone for you.