This one’s for the girls…
As usual when I start a blog, I don’t really know where this one is going… I only have a web of ideas that need to be sorted.
I do know this much though, this one’s for the girls…,
I was given a book to read this summer, called Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.
To be honest, at first I was quite skeptical. I assumed there wouldn’t be a whole lot in there to apply to my life.
But, this one spoke to me. However, I feel that even before I read this book, God was speaking to me the same message only more directly. This book was merely a confirmation or summary.
I have known God as my father, and I have known Jesus as my Saviour. I have never known what it means to be pursued by God; for him to be in love with who I am. I don’t know that I have ever fully believed His thoughts towards me are like the sands on the sea shore… countless! (Psalms 139:17-18).
When I understood God’s heart towards me, it changed me forever.
Often people assume that once you find that special someone or that perfect relationship, the loneliness fades. People assume as long as they are in a relationship they will feel loved.
What is love anyway?
If I were to define it in its purest form, I’d simply say God is love. God’s love fulfills all these attributes so perfectly:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13
What happens when someone is unable to be loving? What happens when people are impatient? When they don’t forgive? When they turn their back, or don’t come through? What happens when people get angry, become envious, put themselves first?
What results is this: Fear. Brokenness. Doubt. Shame.
Obviously, I believe the more God is involved in our relationships and marriages, the more we can experience love in its fullness, still, even then we are human and have our limitations. Husbands do not always pursue their wives. Boys will not always pursue their girlfriends. People tire, people forget, people have weaknesses.
I think its safe to say there are a large number of married women, or women in relationships that are unbelievably lonely. Our souls are always craving love, yet the kind we need is even beyond ourselves.
When a husband forgets his wife’s birthday, or anniversary, she immediately thinks, “Oh… I guess I’m not important… or not worth it”
When a husband cannot tell when his wife is down or depressed and carries on like normal, the first thing she thinks is, “I guess we’re not close enough for him to really understand me”.
At these times we can easily start to live in isolation, in a secret world where we bottle all of our emotions up.
This isn’t a blog about how to make relationships work ;) That’s an entirely different topic all on its own.
My point here is that until women fully grasp God’s heart towards us, his perfect love, we will always be susceptible to loneliness. We will always question our worth, our beauty, or value. If we go according to human response, we may even assume we are worthless.
Until we know who we are in Christ, who we are in God’s sight, we cannot understand true, agape love- nor will we be very effective in loving others that way. *agape love= self-sacrifice
I read 1 Corinthians frequently. It’s a check-list for me. Do I have those qualities? Is my love selfish, or is it sacrificial?
This summer as I spent time in prayer, reading God’s word, reading the book Captivating, God was speaking a powerful message to me. He was allowing my heart to be consumed with his love. He was allowing me to feel beautiful, pursued, like I were some prize possession and the apple of His eye.
You know that feeling when your heart races because the guy you like is approaching? Or the feeling when you go to bed and you feel safe, or secure because that ‘special someone’ thinks the world of you? It was like that, only so much more consistent. I didn’t have to ever be afraid, questioning whether God would stop loving me, or whether if I said or did something stupid that day if he would turn away. God’s words to me were always the same:
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness (Jeremiah 31:3).
I want to empower you women, (and men too if they are reading this; ) to understand the value God places on you. He loves you when you feel unlovable, when you feel ugly, when you feel so full of shame. His heart never changes towards you. He’s the perfect bridegroom. The perfect lover.
Someone who believes they are loved, lives far differently than someone who doesn’t.
~ Amy
